Wharton Journal

Issue date: 9/22/08 Section: Perspectives

HE SAID

Can we lower the temperature in Huntsman a bit more? The penguins are complaining

Dave Larson (WG'09) Staff Writer

So I actually researched this one out and I have to admit that my original hypothesis was wrong. Like many of you, I assumed Wharton keeps Huntsman so cold because some of the higherups are getting kickbacks from ABP on every cup of coffee the students buy to stay warm. It turns out the real answer is way more retarded. Huntsman is cold because the whole University of Pennsylvania is cold. And the whole university is cold because some mook in administration decided to sign a forward agreement with the Philadelphia Power Authority to purchase all of our electricity in advance forever. That's right, the University gets a guaranteed rate on electricity as long as we use an exorbitant amount. That explains why student recommendations for lights that automatically turn off in empty study rooms have gone unanswered. It also explains why I have to wear gloves with the fingers cut off like a freakin' Charles Dickens character just so I can make it through BPUB without losing circulation in my hands. Meanwhile my left nut is still frozen to my inner thigh. It also explains why Huntsman hall is shaped like a giant D-cell battery: it's basically a secret message to the world saying we've got energy to waste and waste it we shall. I am so in trouble for this column. What were they thinking letting a hippie Peace Corps volunteer write for the paper. Sarah, I'm sure you have some characteristically inane and short-sighted opinion on this topic. Your thoughts?


SHE SAID

Global warming is so hot right now

Sarah Weintraub (WG'09) Staff Writer

Dave, you are a self-righteous, overinflated windbag. If you care so much about the earth, why don't you stop whining about greenhouse gases and go out and make an actual difference by shutting up and putting an end to all the hot air coming out of your mouth. Carbon neutral is just so Stanford GSB two years ago. I (heart) carbon. If it weren't for carbon copying you'd never be able to include people on emails but make it clear that they can read it but it's not actually for them. I also do not appreciate that the companies recruiting at Wharton shove their do-gooder attitude down our throats with their branded nalgene bottles. Recruit, Reuse, Recycle? I don't think so. Why can't they stick to what they are good at, using up thousands of sheets of paper giving us flyers with information that is redundant with what we've already received via email? What I love most about going to my mail folder is knowing that I will always be able to experience the pleasure of receiving mail without the burden of actually having to read anything in order to gain new information. And the new WGA recycling bins in every classroom are incredibly frustrating...they totally block the coat racks! Not only do I need to hang my winter coat on them, but since Huntsman becomes totally tropical in the winter, I need those hooks to hang up my sarong and other miscellaneous beachwear. As undergrad Sorority Rush Week has taught us, there is no more perfect January outfit for JMHH 250 than a red and blue bikini with Quakers written on the ass. I also appreciate the fact that even though we are given fancy magnetic name tags, we are supplied with disposable ones at every recruiting or networking event. Besides for the adorably condescending yet completely true assumption that we're too drunk to remember to bring our nametags, if I have to wear the same stupid suit over and over again I deserve a new accessory. Plus Dave, green clashes with like, everything.

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